Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Why won't Canada build their own fighter jet?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Does turmeric help fight cancer? If so, how?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

What are the best Jewish jokes?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Do you think your landlord should have a key to your room?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

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I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

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I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I actually pay taxes

Can I see some saggy tit pics and huge areolas pics?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy bullshit

Do you believe that the portrayal of smoking in films and music videos contributes to the glamorization of cigarettes in society?

I can count

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What was your most memorable experience catching a fraudulent car seller?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

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I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

As a Chinese, what disgusts you about the Chinese society today?

I see through liars

I understand how hurricane paths work

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can read

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know who the president of Turkey really is

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability